Women
A beautiful woman is a paradise to the eyes
and a curse to the purse.
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A career woman has to look like a LADY,
act like MAN
and work like a DOG !!
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A man of quality is never threatened by a woman of equality.
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A woman is like a teabag...
You never know how strong she is
until you dip her in hot water.
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A woman who seeks to be equal to men lacks ambition.
A woman's best accessory is a well dressed man.
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's....she changes it more often !!
A woman's place is in control.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
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After God made man...he said
"I can do better that that !".
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Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust.
If it weren't from women...
Men's things would rust !
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Can you imagine a world without men?
No crime and lots of happy fat women.
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For every woman who makes a fool out of some man;
there's another who makes a man out of a fool.
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He's my comfort, my inspiration, my love.
But I am the captain of my soul.
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Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
I don't have hot flashes....I have power surges !!
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I'd like to be the girl
who used to be me.
(quote from the movie "Shirley Valentine")
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I have PMS and ESP....
that makes me a b****...
who knows it all...!!
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If it came out of a woman...you'd better believe it...!!
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If men are God's gift to women....
God must really like gag gifts !!
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If sweetness fails and tears don't work....NAG !!
If the shoe fits, buy it in every color !!
If woman's work is never done...why start?
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If you can't dazzle them with diamonds....
then baffle 'em with bull !
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If you want something said...ask a man;
if you want something done....ask a woman.
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I'm allowed to talk until I'm understood !!
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It is true that God made men before women,
but it also true that he made a rough draft
before a masterpiece.
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It's the good girls who keep the diaries.
The bad girls never have the time.
(Tallulah Bankhead)
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Man has his will...
But, Woman has her way.
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Men are a collective hallucination of women.
It's like when a group of crackpots gets together
on a hilltop and sees flying saucers.
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No man is a match for a woman's tears.
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One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy
can make a woman gain five pounds.
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She who wants a knight in shining armor....
must clean up after the horse.
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Some people say I'm a grumpy, mean, old witch.
That's not true.
I have the heart of a kind and gentle soul....
in a jar on my desk.
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Some women dream of a night on the town,
of diamonds, of trips around the world.
Me....
I'd settle for a chance at the
remote control every now and again...!!
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Sure God created man before woman
but then you always make a rough draft
before the masterpiece.
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The man who says "it can't be done"....
should not interrupt the woman who is doing it....!!
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The reason God made Woman last
is so he wouldn't have any advice while creating man.
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There's two theories to arguin' with a woman.
Neither one works !!
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Whatever a woman does,
she must do twice as well as a man
to be considered half as good...
Luckily, this is NOT difficult !!
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Whatever women do
they must do twice as well as men
to be thought half as good.
Luckily, this is not difficult.
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Woman, with out her, man is nothing.
Women are meant to be loved....not to be understood.
Women....can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em...
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